How To Get your Girlfriend Into Gaming

Disclaimer: No women were hurt or injured during the tests.

OK guys, this is the ultimate weapon to hit back at all the womenfolk who despise our gaming habits and simply can't understand why we are willing to give up our sex lives (well some of you must be having one right?) for our gaming consoles. In fact all women's magazines agree that the most effective way to stop your horny partner from humping you all the time is to give him a gaming console. You can then have a peaceful night's sleep, but you will have to give up sex forever :).

The gaming console market is dominated by the 3 biggies, Microsoft (the Xbox series), Sony (Playstation series) and Nintendo (original big daddy). Unless you have been living in the Himalayas, I am sure you know all about the latest generation of consoles to hit the market. All of them claim to the be the ultimate gaming machine or whatever, but the idea here to choose the best one for your sex life. So without much ado, the contenders

First of all, the biggest and the baddest of them all. Ladies and gentlemen, standing in the top

right corner, weighing at 5 Kgs and wearing black shorts with white strips is the true 'Master of Disaster', the Sonyyyyyyyy Playstation 3 (PS3)! Trained by the reigning heavy weight champion the Playstation 2, PS3 has the deadliest graphics and processing power in the business. High Definition (HD) Blu-ray disc player, killer games, true style and muscle, this bad boy has it all. Currently facing birth pangs as his trainer is still more popular than him but he plans to change all that very soon with his brute force and sex apeal. Truly a product fit for the stables of Mercedes and BMWs.

Price: Rs 39,000 (around 500 USD in the USA)

Standing in the middle right corner, weighing 3.4 kgs of pure muscle in a white and florescent green shorts is the 'All-American' boy from Redmond, the true inheritor of the great Xbox mantle, the Xboxxxxxxxxx 360! Trained under the watchful eyes of Michael Moore and the original master himself, Mr. Bill Gates, the 360 is a true Microsoft (MS) product, with a windows core OS, HD-DVD upper cut, wireless controller punch reach and a huge suite of killer game titles. It has been performing consistently across the globe for the past 1 year since he turned Pro and has built a solid reputation as a serious contender to the Heavy weight title. It has also built a serious network of Online partners using it's 'Xbox Live' service to train with users regularly on the internet and also share tips and tricks in the form of movies and other digital content. Drives an All-American Chevy

Price: Rs 19,000-27,000 (depending which version you want and 300-400 USD in the USA)

Standing in the bottom right corner, weighing 1.7 kgs in white shorts with blue stripes is the 'Ninja Ka Panja', the Kamikaze itself, the Nintendooooooo Wii! Trained in the original school of console gaming, under the watchful eyes of former masters, now comes this warrior. Armed with the stealth of the Ninja and moves of the Aikido, this tiny powerhouse will get you moving to its grooves the very first time you pick up the “Wii-mote” bokken (the game controller), you are literally in the dojo, playing tennis, boxing, golfing and even fighting a light-sabre fight with a fellow 'Jedi'. The secret weapon of the Wii is it's controller, the “Wii-mote”. This unique controller puts the gamer into the game, where his character plays out his moves in the real world. It allows the user to jump, shoot, box or serve simply by acting the motion out and the Wii-mote takes care of it after that. This Japanese machine might not be eye candy, but it surely is fun playing and working out at the same time. Since turning pro, it has been beating its much stronger rivals. Pretty much like its cousin, the Suzuki Swift

Price: 250 USD in the USA (not available in India at the time of writing this article)

We decided to put all these consoles to the ultimate test. We lined them up one after the other and asked the women folk to play them and rate them. Here are the verdicts:

PS3: Very Hot looking dude. The games look really cool and almost like real-life. Ummm... how do you make the car go forward??.. ahh this button.. i see.. and how do i go back?? (pretty much the conversation for the next 1 hour)

Xbox 360: Neat looking. Hey I can chat with Anjali with it. Nice!! Brad Pitt looks so much hotter on the HD-DVD and the 5.1 surround sound makes me feel like Boyzone boys are performing live for me. Ohh.. it can play games too? Whatever... laterzzzz I am busy chatting now.

Nintendo Wii: Hey! Who is this cute boy? You mean I can play tennis by simulating a real shot? And I can play with 3 other people just like a real doubles match? Sounds like fun.. lemme try it. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (Also pronounced as Wii). Click on picture & video for proof

So there you have it guys and gals. If you wanna game together and also have a robust sex-life, you need a Wii. Ladies, you can gift the Xbox 360 and PS3 to the husband of someone you really hate. You will have the last laugh :P

Lastly check out our 2 studs Sharan and Rajesh slugging it out..

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