Saturday, April 5, 2008

Why Men Can't Wear Heels

There are few things more beautiful than the sight of a woman who can walk in heels. It is one of the most painful things that you can do to your heels and ankles, but I must say that if done well, the clippitty-cloppity of those heels can be pure poetry in motion. No matter what your body shape, type or fashion sense, if you can master the art of walking in heels you will still look extremely hot! (at least in my book)

Little girls are initiated into this ritual quite early in their lives, when they try out their mothers' make up kit and shoes while MOST boys are busy killing each other with their toys. This brings us to the question why men can't wear heels. Most obvious answers would be:
  • Men already have the height advantage, so adding a few inches won't really make any difference unless you are Salman Khan
  • Most manly activities will be hampered if you wear heels. Try playing catch in the office wearing heels
  • You don't want to wake up every morning and quarrel with the women in your family on who gets to wear those nice heels to office that day
  • Men are not exactly your most graceful creatures and the addition of heels will make us look even more ugly
All the above answers are very correct, but they are all answers to "Why men WON'T wear heels" rather than "Why men CAN'T wear heels". The answer to the latter question, my dear friends lies in the structural differences between physiques of men and women.

It is a fact that women have stronger lower bodies and men have stronger upper bodies. To demonstrate this phenomenon, walk into any gym into your neighborhood and observe the workout routine of the males and the females. You will have the women concentrating more on their already stronger lower bodies with exercises like running on the treadmill, steppers and cycling/spinning while the men concentrating EXCLUSIVELY on their upper bodies!

Most women have this fear of working with weights on their upper bodies as they feel that they will grow huge ugly muscles. They don't understand that it is essential to work with light to medium weights to strengthen and tone their upper bodies. In the case of the men, the situation is worse. All of them want to attain the "V' shaped figure and they would religiously do their bench presses, bicep curls, tricep pulls, abdominal crunches and shoulder lifts, while totally neglecting their chicken legs. The end result is something like Johnny Bravo (see pic). It is a V-shape alright, but in this case, the V doesn't stop at the waist. It extends all the way to the feet.

Leaving aside gym habits, this basic difference in the physique of the sexes make it difficult for men to wear heels. Due to their weaker lower halves, it is very difficult for men to balance their heavier tops in high heels. Even if they manage to balance themselves, the awkwardness in their gait becomes obvious. In case of women, it becomes much easier as they already have stronger lower bodies.

So the next time you see guys in heels, please spare a second look at them to honor their bravery in going against nature :-)