Friday, March 7, 2008

A Front/Rear Side Story

Indians like to do it with their hands and water. Westerners use paper. I am sure you have by now guessed what I am referring to. If not, then I am assuming you do neither so please feel free to tell us more about your technique

Of course I am referring to the cleaning of the exit after the dump. No matter where you do it, in the open, on the side of the railway tracks, in your home loo or at your buddy's loo, I am sure you do clean up after the act.

The point of discussion, however is not the loo. It is the ritual of cleanup after the act. If you are an average Indian, it is pretty simple. You pick up a mug of water, roll up your sleeves of your left hand (in case you are lefty, then the right hand), and then with a rather unassuming air, splash water on the exit orifice and with a daft movement of the fingers clean it up.

So what's the interesting part you ask? well my dear friends, here lies the catch. Has it ever occurred to you to spare a moment and think about the direction from where you splash water on your orifice? You will say "Its pretty simple. Everybody splashes the water from the front/rear !!". Wait a minute, did you just say front/rear? Yes my friend, you can splash water from both directions.

Now I will share with you some of the findings of a rather scientific research and study that I conducted way back in college. I went around with a questionnaire and polled some 300 odd students, ladies included, on the splashing direction habit of people and to summarize:
  • The number of people who splashed water from the rear is exactly the same as the number of people who splashed water from the front! It is one of those unexplained mysteries of the world. Nobody knows why, but it is evenly balanced. The day one faction outnumbers the other, it will be doomsday for sure!
  • 90% of people who participated in the poll didn't even know that you can splash water from the other direction!
  • 95% of the participants felt that splashing water from the other direction was practically impossible and couldn't understand why anyone would do it
  • 50% of couples polled had opposite directions. It came as a major shock for all the couples
  • People of different directions (amongst the same sex) were more likely to become good friends.
  • Only a rare 1% polled were unidirectionally, which meant that they were adept at splashing water from both directions. All of them were high achievers in their field of study. Sign of genius??
  • Left handers are more likely to splash water from the front, while right handers are pretty much adept at both directions
  • A high 70% of the ladies polled, did it from the front.
  • Western potty users are more likely to do it from the front
So if are through reading this post, ask your neighbor about his habits and I assure you, you will be surprised with his answer and he will be too when you tell him your side ;-)

As for me, I do it from behind :-)

See you guys after my holiday!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Whassup Yo?

Long time no see. If you are wondering if Trashhead00 is dead, sorry to disappoint you, I am still alive and kicking.

Without much ado, some things I have been up to lately, explained with graphics for those of you who can't read

Working Out
Its official. Biceps measure 14 inches now. Previous record was 13 inches in college. I still remember that year's vacation when mom got scandalized seeing over sized arms (as compared to the rest of my body). She put me on a strict diet thinking that I was getting obese! This time around, I am also working on my chicken legs so as not to give my mom another shocker when I visit her this month.

Biker Boi Valentino
Been free riding (on my game console). I always fake about being a biker. In my defense I am good at it (the faking part). So much that I got a gift of a scaled Honda Valkyrie model. Yay...!

Guitar Hero 3, Rockband... bring it on boyZ.. give me my guitar. I can manage to do a shriek too in Rockband. Total paisa-vasool


Mega Gaming event. Read more about it here
It was interesting because of this video. Just switch the volume and watch it. You will find me describing a terrorist attack I just saw

Punch Punch

Ran out of punching bags in the office. So now we use colleagues

Beauty Treatment
What is the fuss all about? I tried it out. No change though. Same old fugly me

I am finally going home after almost 2 years! Please do drop in your wishlist in the comment box. Hometown is in the North Eastern part of the country