Saturday, July 19, 2008

Look Who Is Smiling

There are 2 movie sequels that I have out most respect for. The first is the second installment to every teenage boy's wet dream franchisee, Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back where one of the biggest badass in movie history Darth Vader reveals to Luke that he came into this universe (can't say "world" here) from his loins! The other movie would be good ol' Arnie coming back from the future to save the teenaged John Connor in Terminator 2

Add Dark Knight (2008) to the rolls and that too right at the top! All because of one guy and I am not talking about the Batman

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in applauding the late Heath Ledger in creating the most dangerous and vile villain of all times, the Joker. Jack Nicholson had created the benchmark when he enacted the Joker's role in the Michael Keaton starer Batman (1989). Heath has not only upped the bar, but he pretty much ensured that the Joker is never going to be part of any Batman movie ever. He has made this role his very own. It is said that when Heath was preparing himself for this role, he got himself locked up in a room with food being pushed in from the bottom of the door. And as if taking his reel character to real life, he played a cruel joke on everyone when his lifeless body was discovered in his apartment early this year. Possible cause of death: overdose.

What he has done to the Joker character is beyond words. The Joker has always been the greatest enemy of the Batman, his nemesis and also his biggest fear. The Batman is feared by everyone, even by his peer superheroes and for good reason. He is the only hero without any "super"powers and has to rely only on his (in)human abilities to survive and take down the bad guys. One false move, loss of concentration for one split second and the cowl and cape will be part of some museum. He is the guy who single handedly can take down the entire league of superheroes if he feels that the world wasn't safe with them, with the greatest superpower in the universe, the mind and tactics. And when the Batman fears someone, it makes you stand up and take notice.

The Joker has killed not one, but two of Bruce Wayne's (Batman's identity in the real world) extended family. Other than Rachael Dawes (the movie character), the other victim is none other than Jason Todd, who was Batman's crime fighting partner Robin when Tim Drake (the original Robin) feeling he needed to get out of his mentor's shadow and find his own identity, abandoned Wayne Manor and left Gotham City. And in true Joker method, he makes the Batman watch while killing Jason in the graphic novel, A Death In The Family (1989).

What Ledger has done is to take all the ingredients assimilated from all characterization of the Joker and added his own variety of insanity to it. The slithering of the tongue in reptilian fashion, the smacking of the lips in anticipation of a tasty and satisfying kill, the desire to put up a grand show of mayhem, the spine chilling grin and the explanations for his physical and mental scars makes you forget that it is a Batman movie and he is the villain. And he is quite frank in admitting that he is an 'agent of chaos' and his dastardly acts are experiments to prove that we are essentially evil from inside and all pretensions of love and brotherhood go for a toss if the right buttons are pressed. He almost succeeds and while doing so, he ensures that the movie belongs to him and Batman and even a major league villain like Two-Face are mere spectators to his orchestra of pure evil. May his soul rest in peace

Chris Nolan has resurrected the entire Batman franchisee from the farce that it had become with the George Clooney starer Batman and Robin (1997) and how to take it further is the question that must be also bothering him now that he has pretty much created the best movie of the decade so far.

My forecast:

Top 3 highest grosser of all times
Best Actor (Academy Awards) - Heath Ledger
Best Director (Academy Awards) - Chris Nolan
Best Movie (Academy Awards) - Winner or close very close runners-up

Ohh, and btw they are coming out with Terminator 4 - Salvation. This triology will focus on John Connor's fight against the machines and guess who is playing John? Check out the trailer below to find out. If you are too lazy, then it is Christian Bale :-). Now he is no more an independent movie actor, but in top league with the Batman and Terminator franchisees

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Tips For A Successful Underwear Management

For most guys, specially the college going ones, one of the chief worries in life is how to derive the maximum mileage from their underwear without having to clean them. Prior to college, mom would have taken care of the laundry and post college, sex (or the desire to have sex) with girlfriends and wives will force them to wash their underwear rather frequently.

The same problem is faced by frequent fliers and people with jobs which require them to be on the road a lot. Either you can carry with you a separate bag full of clean underwear, purchase new stock at the nearest convenient stores or wash them on the go. This is all fine, but they present a new set of challenges. A bag full of underwear can get u arrested as an "underwear thief" suspect or worse.. a sexual pervert at the airport. Constant purchases of underwear will not be feasible until the time your company starts reimbursing them under the head "Travel Hygiene". Washing on the go is a big pain and it gets worse if they don't dry by the time you are ready to go. Wet underwear will ensure you get fungal infection and you can pretty much look forward to a "scratching session" while making that presentation to that client of yours.

The challenge for a successful strategy to get the maximum mileage out of a pair of underwear was put forward by a cousin of mine who recently started a micro-insurance company which required him to travel to villages for weeks at a go, without requiring him to do anything of the above options. Another smart cousin of mine came up with a four pronged solution to make a pair of boxers last a minimum of four days without feeling "overtly unclean".

Day 1 (The Straight Dude):
Wear your clean pair boxers the normal way. Make sure that you have applied your anti-perspirant and a dab of anti-fungal dusting powder on your privates. Take extra care not to dirty it much, especially after peeing or using the loo. Also take extreme care not to engage in extreme physical exertions so as to prevent your pubic area from sweating profusely. If you have to engage in sports, then go commando (without underwear).

Before retiring for the night, iron (if possible) boxers and hang in an airy place.

Day 2 (Revolving Reverse):
Remove boxers from hanger and put them on backside front. It means that on the second day, the back of your boxers will face the front. Repeat all precautions from the first day with one more addition. From the second day onwards, before getting physically intimate with your partner, remember to remove your underwear before the romp or at least turn off the lights during foreplay (if you like to keep them on).

Repeat ironing and airing exercise.

Day 3 (The Inside Outsiders):
This is the most crucial day and if you manage a incident free third day, you have almost made it home. On this day, you wear your boxers the normal way, except that you will have to wear it inside out. Now you understand the importance of ironing and airing them every night. Chances are that a little stink will emanate from your underwear (at least for the newbies). You will now have to resort to a good deodorant. You are also advised to restrict all your sexual romps to the bathroom, while bathing and showering

Repeat ironing and airing exercise.

Day 4 (Revolving Reverse II)
The last day. Extra anti-perspirant, anti-fungal dusting powder and deodorant recommended. Wear your inside out boxers reverse side (from the third day). Repeat all standard precautions. This is by far the longest day of the experiment and also the most uncomfortable. Stay away from sex that night and spend that time in the shower instead.

Put boxers in an airtight zipper pouch and send to laundry

Disclaimer: This is an experimental procedure yet to clear regulations. So if you decide to follow it, please do it at your own risk and don't sue us.

Readers who have liked or found this post helpful, will also like this post