Look Who Is Smiling

There are 2 movie sequels that I have out most respect for. The first is the second installment to every teenage boy's wet dream franchisee, Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back where one of the biggest badass in movie history Darth Vader reveals to Luke that he came into this universe (can't say "world" here) from his loins! The other movie would be good ol' Arnie coming back from the future to save the teenaged John Connor in Terminator 2

Add Dark Knight (2008) to the rolls and that too right at the top! All because of one guy and I am not talking about the Batman

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in applauding the late Heath Ledger in creating the most dangerous and vile villain of all times, the Joker. Jack Nicholson had created the benchmark when he enacted the Joker's role in the Michael Keaton starer Batman (1989). Heath has not only upped the bar, but he pretty much ensured that the Joker is never going to be part of any Batman movie ever. He has made this role his very own. It is said that when Heath was preparing himself for this role, he got himself locked up in a room with food being pushed in from the bottom of the door. And as if taking his reel character to real life, he played a cruel joke on everyone when his lifeless body was discovered in his apartment early this year. Possible cause of death: overdose.

What he has done to the Joker character is beyond words. The Joker has always been the greatest enemy of the Batman, his nemesis and also his biggest fear. The Batman is feared by everyone, even by his peer superheroes and for good reason. He is the only hero without any "super"powers and has to rely only on his (in)human abilities to survive and take down the bad guys. One false move, loss of concentration for one split second and the cowl and cape will be part of some museum. He is the guy who single handedly can take down the entire league of superheroes if he feels that the world wasn't safe with them, with the greatest superpower in the universe, the mind and tactics. And when the Batman fears someone, it makes you stand up and take notice.

The Joker has killed not one, but two of Bruce Wayne's (Batman's identity in the real world) extended family. Other than Rachael Dawes (the movie character), the other victim is none other than Jason Todd, who was Batman's crime fighting partner Robin when Tim Drake (the original Robin) feeling he needed to get out of his mentor's shadow and find his own identity, abandoned Wayne Manor and left Gotham City. And in true Joker method, he makes the Batman watch while killing Jason in the graphic novel, A Death In The Family (1989).

What Ledger has done is to take all the ingredients assimilated from all characterization of the Joker and added his own variety of insanity to it. The slithering of the tongue in reptilian fashion, the smacking of the lips in anticipation of a tasty and satisfying kill, the desire to put up a grand show of mayhem, the spine chilling grin and the explanations for his physical and mental scars makes you forget that it is a Batman movie and he is the villain. And he is quite frank in admitting that he is an 'agent of chaos' and his dastardly acts are experiments to prove that we are essentially evil from inside and all pretensions of love and brotherhood go for a toss if the right buttons are pressed. He almost succeeds and while doing so, he ensures that the movie belongs to him and Batman and even a major league villain like Two-Face are mere spectators to his orchestra of pure evil. May his soul rest in peace

Chris Nolan has resurrected the entire Batman franchisee from the farce that it had become with the George Clooney starer Batman and Robin (1997) and how to take it further is the question that must be also bothering him now that he has pretty much created the best movie of the decade so far.

My forecast:

Top 3 highest grosser of all times
Best Actor (Academy Awards) - Heath Ledger
Best Director (Academy Awards) - Chris Nolan
Best Movie (Academy Awards) - Winner or close very close runners-up

Ohh, and btw they are coming out with Terminator 4 - Salvation. This triology will focus on John Connor's fight against the machines and guess who is playing John? Check out the trailer below to find out. If you are too lazy, then it is Christian Bale :-). Now he is no more an independent movie actor, but in top league with the Batman and Terminator franchisees

Tips For A Successful Underwear Management

For most guys, specially the college going ones, one of the chief worries in life is how to derive the maximum mileage from their underwear without having to clean them. Prior to college, mom would have taken care of the laundry and post college, sex (or the desire to have sex) with girlfriends and wives will force them to wash their underwear rather frequently.

The same problem is faced by frequent fliers and people with jobs which require them to be on the road a lot. Either you can carry with you a separate bag full of clean underwear, purchase new stock at the nearest convenient stores or wash them on the go. This is all fine, but they present a new set of challenges. A bag full of underwear can get u arrested as an "underwear thief" suspect or worse.. a sexual pervert at the airport. Constant purchases of underwear will not be feasible until the time your company starts reimbursing them under the head "Travel Hygiene". Washing on the go is a big pain and it gets worse if they don't dry by the time you are ready to go. Wet underwear will ensure you get fungal infection and you can pretty much look forward to a "scratching session" while making that presentation to that client of yours.

The challenge for a successful strategy to get the maximum mileage out of a pair of underwear was put forward by a cousin of mine who recently started a micro-insurance company which required him to travel to villages for weeks at a go, without requiring him to do anything of the above options. Another smart cousin of mine came up with a four pronged solution to make a pair of boxers last a minimum of four days without feeling "overtly unclean".

Day 1 (The Straight Dude):
Wear your clean pair boxers the normal way. Make sure that you have applied your anti-perspirant and a dab of anti-fungal dusting powder on your privates. Take extra care not to dirty it much, especially after peeing or using the loo. Also take extreme care not to engage in extreme physical exertions so as to prevent your pubic area from sweating profusely. If you have to engage in sports, then go commando (without underwear).

Before retiring for the night, iron (if possible) boxers and hang in an airy place.

Day 2 (Revolving Reverse):
Remove boxers from hanger and put them on backside front. It means that on the second day, the back of your boxers will face the front. Repeat all precautions from the first day with one more addition. From the second day onwards, before getting physically intimate with your partner, remember to remove your underwear before the romp or at least turn off the lights during foreplay (if you like to keep them on).

Repeat ironing and airing exercise.

Day 3 (The Inside Outsiders):
This is the most crucial day and if you manage a incident free third day, you have almost made it home. On this day, you wear your boxers the normal way, except that you will have to wear it inside out. Now you understand the importance of ironing and airing them every night. Chances are that a little stink will emanate from your underwear (at least for the newbies). You will now have to resort to a good deodorant. You are also advised to restrict all your sexual romps to the bathroom, while bathing and showering

Repeat ironing and airing exercise.

Day 4 (Revolving Reverse II)
The last day. Extra anti-perspirant, anti-fungal dusting powder and deodorant recommended. Wear your inside out boxers reverse side (from the third day). Repeat all standard precautions. This is by far the longest day of the experiment and also the most uncomfortable. Stay away from sex that night and spend that time in the shower instead.

Put boxers in an airtight zipper pouch and send to laundry

Disclaimer: This is an experimental procedure yet to clear regulations. So if you decide to follow it, please do it at your own risk and don't sue us.

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Evolution??

Nothings changed really... except maybe for the learning that I shouldn't sing :-)

Why Men Can't Wear Heels

There are few things more beautiful than the sight of a woman who can walk in heels. It is one of the most painful things that you can do to your heels and ankles, but I must say that if done well, the clippitty-cloppity of those heels can be pure poetry in motion. No matter what your body shape, type or fashion sense, if you can master the art of walking in heels you will still look extremely hot! (at least in my book)

Little girls are initiated into this ritual quite early in their lives, when they try out their mothers' make up kit and shoes while MOST boys are busy killing each other with their toys. This brings us to the question why men can't wear heels. Most obvious answers would be:

• Men already have the height advantage, so adding a few inches won't really make any difference unless you are Salman Khan
• Most manly activities will be hampered if you wear heels. Try playing catch in the office wearing heels
  
• You don't want to wake up every morning and quarrel with the women in your family on who gets to wear those nice heels to office that day
• Men are not exactly your most graceful creatures and the addition of heels will make us look even more ugly

All the above answers are very correct, but they are all answers to "Why men WON'T wear heels" rather than "Why men CAN'T wear heels". The answer to the latter question, my dear friends lies in the structural differences between physiques of men and women.

It is a fact that women have stronger lower bodies and men have stronger upper bodies. To demonstrate this phenomenon, walk into any gym into your neighborhood and observe the workout routine of the males and the females. You will have the women concentrating more on their already stronger lower bodies with exercises like running on the treadmill, steppers and cycling/spinning while the men concentrating EXCLUSIVELY on their upper bodies!

Most women have this fear of working with weights on their upper bodies as they feel that they will grow huge ugly muscles. They don't understand that it is essential to work with light to medium weights to strengthen and tone their upper bodies. In the case of the men, the situation is worse. All of them want to attain the "V' shaped figure and they would religiously do their bench presses, bicep curls, tricep pulls, abdominal crunches and shoulder lifts, while totally neglecting their chicken legs. The end result is something like Johnny Bravo (see pic). It is a V-shape alright, but in this case, the V doesn't stop at the waist. It extends all the way to the feet.

Leaving aside gym habits, this basic difference in the physique of the sexes make it difficult for men to wear heels. Due to their weaker lower halves, it is very difficult for men to balance their heavier tops in high heels. Even if they manage to balance themselves, the awkwardness in their gait becomes obvious. In case of women, it becomes much easier as they already have stronger lower bodies.

So the next time you see guys in heels, please spare a second look at them to honor their bravery in going against nature :-)

A Front/Rear Side Story

Indians like to do it with their hands and water. Westerners use paper. I am sure you have by now guessed what I am referring to. If not, then I am assuming you do neither so please feel free to tell us more about your technique

Of course I am referring to the cleaning of the exit after the dump. No matter where you do it, in the open, on the side of the railway tracks, in your home loo or at your buddy's loo, I am sure you do clean up after the act.

The point of discussion, however is not the loo. It is the ritual of cleanup after the act. If you are an average Indian, it is pretty simple. You pick up a mug of water, roll up your sleeves of your left hand (in case you are lefty, then the right hand), and then with a rather unassuming air, splash water on the exit orifice and with a daft movement of the fingers clean it up.

So what's the interesting part you ask? well my dear friends, here lies the catch. Has it ever occurred to you to spare a moment and think about the direction from where you splash water on your orifice? You will say "Its pretty simple. Everybody splashes the water from the front/rear !!". Wait a minute, did you just say front/rear? Yes my friend, you can splash water from both directions.

Now I will share with you some of the findings of a rather scientific research and study that I conducted way back in college. I went around with a questionnaire and polled some 300 odd students, ladies included, on the splashing direction habit of people and to summarize:

• The number of people who splashed water from the rear is exactly the same as the number of people who splashed water from the front! It is one of those unexplained mysteries of the world. Nobody knows why, but it is evenly balanced. The day one faction outnumbers the other, it will be doomsday for sure!
• 90% of people who participated in the poll didn't even know that you can splash water from the other direction!
• 95% of the participants felt that splashing water from the other direction was practically impossible and couldn't understand why anyone would do it
• 50% of couples polled had opposite directions. It came as a major shock for all the couples
• People of different directions (amongst the same sex) were more likely to become good friends.
• Only a rare 1% polled were unidirectionally, which meant that they were adept at splashing water from both directions. All of them were high achievers in their field of study. Sign of genius??
• Left handers are more likely to splash water from the front, while right handers are pretty much adept at both directions
• A high 70% of the ladies polled, did it from the front.
  
• Western potty users are more likely to do it from the front

So if are through reading this post, ask your neighbor about his habits and I assure you, you will be surprised with his answer and he will be too when you tell him your side ;-)

As for me, I do it from behind :-)

See you guys after my holiday!

Whassup Yo?

Long time no see. If you are wondering if Trashhead00 is dead, sorry to disappoint you, I am still alive and kicking.

Without much ado, some things I have been up to lately, explained with graphics for those of you who can't read

Working Out

Its official. Biceps measure 14 inches now. Previous record was 13 inches in college. I still remember that year's vacation when mom got scandalized seeing over sized arms (as compared to the rest of my body). She put me on a strict diet thinking that I was getting obese! This time around, I am also working on my chicken legs so as not to give my mom another shocker when I visit her this month.

Biker Boi Valentino

Been free riding (on my game console). I always fake about being a biker. In my defense I am good at it (the faking part). So much that I got a gift of a scaled Honda Valkyrie model. Yay...!

RokSta

Guitar Hero 3, Rockband... bring it on boyZ.. give me my guitar. I can manage to do a shriek too in Rockband. Total paisa-vasool

Kode5

Mega Gaming event. Read more about it here
It was interesting because of this video. Just switch the volume and watch it. You will find me describing a terrorist attack I just saw

Punch Punch

Ran out of punching bags in the office. So now we use colleagues

Beauty Treatment

What is the fuss all about? I tried it out. No change though. Same old fugly me








I am finally going home after almost 2 years! Please do drop in your wishlist in the comment box. Hometown is in the North Eastern part of the country

Social "Security" Network

Just 6 more days and it will be 2008! Another year went by in a blaze of glory and another digit to be added to all forms asking for your age. Since everyone will sit back and take stock of the year, how can this blog not do so? Of all the popular trends for the year, the madness surrounding 'Social Networking Websites' takes the cake for me.

I have been on such sites for more than 3 years now and it still continues to intrigue me on how the madness of scrapping, tagging, Fun Walling, Hotness Quizzing (and so on..) doesn't seem to be giving up. And it just gets worse. You open your inbox and there are like 100 mails asking you to join "Save the Yeti Andolan" network, make 'friendships' with Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Monica Belluci (going by their profile pictures) and so on. Just last week I was reading the editorial of a very popular youth magazine which starts with how studies have shown that social networking sites decrease productivity at workplaces and educational institutes. It then goes on to advertise its own recently launched platform for social networks! Talk about misplaced messages.

This cultural phenomenon has grown so big that unless you are on the popular sites, you don't really have a life. Now there is this mad rush to add more friends, join networks, turn friends/contacts into werewolves and vampires and take 'likeness' quizzes. Recently these sites have also featured in criminal investigations, providing 'clues' and 'insights' into the victims and perpetrators alike. Now the big question is what makes us network socially, via websites or otherwise?

Last week I met up with a senior from college who is a hot shot consultant now and another gentleman who is the CEO of a big internet portal and this was the perfect place to throw up this question. The idea was to strip down the idea of 'networking' to its basics and what makes it tick.

Humans have always been social animals and we have had social networks since the time one smart ancestor realized that it is much more easy and convenient to hunt, gather and stay safe with a group than solo. And very soon, these networks started signifying power and status within the group. It is therefore not surprising that throughout our human history the leaders, kings, conquerors or simply the ones with the most number of mates, were people who were able to use these networks to their benefit. Times have changed, but the significance of social networking hasn't, although the nature of it has evolved. Now you do business networking or join networks online. But the intention remains the same. Survival!

Social networking and self-survival?? Did you miss something? No! you didn't. Social Networking has always been for survival and it will continue to be so. Being at the top of the social hierarchy definitely increases your chances of surviving a calamity. Is it a wonder why kings and political leaders get so much protection while commoners like you and me pay taxes to maintain that status quo? The more popular or revered you are in your social network, it will ensure that people will protect you in case of any danger or calamity. And this survival instinct is inside each one of us and this drives us to 'add' more friends to our list and be part of a large network of people. This is the logic behind the popular saying 'Safety in numbers'.

How about the friend'ship' makers you ask? Well, it is again observed that people with access to a larger network will have a much better chance of finding more mates and thus ensure that his/her kind lives on. This is the eternal hope that drives these 'ship' makers

Studies have shown that primates have an average number of social contacts for whom they 'feel' attached. Like monkeys will be very tuned in to the needs and feelings of the 30 closest members around them. For humans, the number is around 300, with the individual being at the center and relatives and friends forming the surrounding groups. Casual acquaintances form the periphery. The closer the person is to you, the more intense is the feeling. This is the reason why you are devastated by the demise of a parent or a close friend. After that the intensity decreases. You might not be so much saddened by the death a person who lived in the same lane as you and lesser for a person who lived in the same city and very less or no change in feelings when you hear the demise of a person who lived 1000 miles away from you. (Thanks to Angelo for this absolutely useless piece of information)

Still find it hard to digest the entire concept? Think of a person who decides to move away from social network and live as a loner. Very soon he will develop emotional problems and there will no guarantee that he will be taken care of or provided for. And in illness, he is on his own and the only time he might be noticed is when the rotten stink coming from his apartment becomes too much for his neighbors to handle.

And lastly, all that business networking is just for one simple reason, to survive in the corporate jungle.

OK, time to go now. Have to scrap back my friends and take some iLike quizzes. Caio..

PS: A very merry Christmas to our dear Dimpy who we miss very much :-)